I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize