She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize