mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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