Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
