you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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