just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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