New low: just hacked my moms facebook
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
They are going to name an STD after you.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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