Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
