atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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