We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
