Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
