He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize