Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
