Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
