HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
You're a waste of cheezeits
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
