just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
