at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
