Bisexual people are plain selfish.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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