Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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