I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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