There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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