just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Too much gin, very little bucket
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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