its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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