so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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