I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
