hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
