I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
how drunk are you?
Several
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
