i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
The air was thick with penises
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
