Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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