What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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