If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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