I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
where am i from again
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
