So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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