happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
