two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Randomize