his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
