I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
