is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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