if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I am naked and annoyed.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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