Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
