True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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