He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize