I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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