I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
organizing the empties. That sober.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
