If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
