Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
