My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
