Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Randomize
