we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
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