he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
