I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Randomize
