i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I think i got beer on your cat.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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