Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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