i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
